Survivor Stories : Speaking Out About Cancer

Edited by Rod Schecter & Jessica Myers

ISBN 0-9676129-1-8

  Foreward

Before I started editing the Prostate Forum, my own experience with cancer had been piecemeal at best. Like most adults, I have lost enough relatives to speak about the c-word with the appropriate tinges of spite and acrimony in my voice: at age fourteen, I visited my paternal grandmother at the hospice, so disturbed by the sight of herÖalmost bald and a mere seventy-six poundsÖthat I never returned. I watched (or should I say listened second hand) from a distance as my aunt died of breast cancer while in her forties, and, as if it weren‰t enough, found myself racing home from college one spring semester to see my maternal grandmother just before she passed from the metastatic tumor that originated in her lungs. However, no matter how close cancer came, the images it inspired always seemed vague and abstract, replete with the gore and disfigurement of a horror film.

      Even saying the word scared me in the same way, leaving scant room for hope in any statement compounded with the dreaded c-word. And sadly, without hope, even a horror film loses its potency, as the actors simply go through the motions before they ultimately meet their ends at the hand of the cruel antagonist lurking behind every corner. I realize this sounds glib, but to someone on the periphery of the disease what else can you say but ‹I‰m glad it‰s not me,Š and withdraw from even thinking about what a cancer diagnosis means?

      A dear friend of mine lost his father to colon cancer recently and the mere mention of what I do for a living turns his face pallid and grim. For him it is no longer an issue, a topic best not talked about in the light of day but in the sterile confines of an exam room.

      But these are affectations gleaned from outside observation.  Those inside the disease perceive things quite differentlyÖknow too well the vocabulary of ‹Cancer SpeakŠ and learn to make the best of things. Even in this volume, Ruthann Robson‰s story ‹PalliativeŠ mocks the alienating language of the medical community, hence reverting herself from research subject to person by redefining the language and making it her own. The same author, in another piece from this volume, clearly states her call to arms. ‹I am not your story,Š she shouts, in a language that speaks for a whole subset of people who are constantly made to feel like research by a medical industry fueled by its own inherent motivations.

      The question becomes: if so many people are crying out, why are they being constantly ignored? It is too easy in our busy lives to shy away from cancer survivorsÖto chalk it all up to circumstance and go on with our healthy lives. Thus, we created this book to give a voice to cancer patients, to let their stories speak out clearly (not in hushed whispers), to let the world know they are survivors and

still alive.

      When my fiancÚ, Jessica, and I first moved to Charlottesville after a less than successful approach at living a bohemian lifestyle overseas, we stayed with her parents for several months. At the time, her father, Dr. Charles Myers (the renowned prostate oncologist), was suffering from prostate cancer and the debilitating side effects of aggressive radiation treatment. Talk about ironyÖa physician with the very same disease he himself had spent years studying. And he certainly knew about all available treatmentsÖknew what to hope for, what the risks were, and exactly what his chances were. He knew, as he told me over the hushed breakfast table amidst his hot flashes and mood swings, that the best weapon any cancer patient had in his or her arsenal was the belief in the possibility of healing and a stubborn allegiance to hope. What I learned was that there was always some reason to hope and have since concluded that it is the infusion of even a glimmer of hope into a dark situation that defines what it means to survive.

      In the following years, as I‰ve worked on a variety of cancer publications and had the opportunity to teach therapeutic writing to patients and their partners at Free Union Institute seminars, I‰ve became aware of more horror stories than I ever hoped to know about: intense pain, metastatic lesions, chemo side effects, and radiation proctitis. I also learned what a grim effect cancer treatment has on the human psyche. I was taken aback by how quickly a person can become their cancer, transformed until the growing cells are as much a part of their identity as the color of their hair. I‰ve met activists in remission who still battle the awful disease that contaminated them despite the damage their obsession is doing to their careers, their marriages, their friendships. But there were others, the real survivors, the people who remained staunchly people (never succumbing to the label patient) who were courageous enough to tell their talesÖeach one as specific as a fingerprintÖto tell the world that they were far from dead and would go out kicking and screaming if destiny was so inclined. The interesting thing was that these survivor stories were wrought with all the tension and conflict indicative of any satisfying story.

      As literature students and aspiring novelists, Jess and I have often wondered what we could bring to a community where science is so dominant and hope that we‰ve found that outlet in this small volume. It always seemed to me that, after every conflict, the stories are what remain to give credence to what was gained or lost. It is in the narrative form that so many people mourn and rejoice, and these survivor stories are as important to the teller as they are to the listener. In fact, I would say that it is essential to share our stories, no matter how painful they may be. We simply can‰t hide away from them. And providing a stage for those struggling with the indelible imprint cancer has left in their lives is as important as treating the survivor‰s body. The rationale: when the body aches the soul needs a place to mourn.

      In each essay, our authors define what it means to survive: from a psychologist working in an oncology practice to a breast cancer survivor with two young daughters, these writers grapple with the impact cancer has had on their livesÖthe painful and the joyfulÖthe moments when our vulnerability as human beings shines through to reveal something noble and achingly beautiful.

      As Milton Ricketts notes in his essay, ‹Surviving The PC Jungle,Š ‹Odd as it may seem, in some ways having cancer has improved my life . . . I no longer have good days and bad days; I just have good and better days.Š

      The essays and stories in this book are meant to embody the experience of living with cancer, the ups and downsÖthe personal struggles and triumphs that some people face every day. In our normal lives we look to the future, complaining about the drive-though line, about the missed sales opportunity, about the annoying coworker, while a whole community of survivors trudge through percentages and experimental treatments, trying to buy themselves another tomorrow. 

      With that said, this book has the ability to affect not just the small sample of people for whom it was intended. Survivor Stories has the ability to teach us all that even in the darkest moments, there is always something to hope for.

ÖRod Schecter  Aug. 2, 2003

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